We're Not The Only Ones Who Love Our Wood
New Product Drop 🔥
Cheese Knives (Set of 4)
These first of its kind ergonomic and practical cheese knives are the perfect way to cockify any gathering! Pair with your favourite Cockuterie Board or use with any of your favourite charcuterie boards or serving trays!
View full detailsWhy You'll Love Our Wood
Frequently Asked Questions
But why dick-shaped?
Get out...
Does Size Matter?
We all know that size matters, especially when it comes to charcuterie.
15 inch: Ideal for date night, or small groups of 4 people max.
24 inch: Ideal for gatherings 5 people and up! Can easily accommodate up to 20 people
I want to make sure my cock lasts a lifetime, what are the care instructions?
There sure are:
• To clean, gently wipe board with damp cloth, do not put in dishwasher
• Apply cutting board wax every few uses to maintain its shine and lustre
• Slicing directly on board may result in cut marks, be careful near the tip!
• Each board comes pre-treated with 100% food-grade oil, however , certain foods may stain surface (berries in particular).
What is your handle so I can tag you when I post on social?
PLEASE tag us in any videos or photos you take with the boards, unboxing videos are our favourite! @cockuterieboards
You're a genius! Is Cockuterie Trademarked?
We are in fact trademarked! So if you come across any knockoffs let us know and we'll bring the hammer down together (pun most certainly intended).
Does it make for a good gift?
You will instantly become everyone's favorite gift giver or your money back!