









Let's face it.
Regular charcuterie boards just won't cut it these days. Because when it comes to playing host, you're going to need a board that impresses, delights, and ultimately, makes you the cock of the town!
Perfect for bachelor/ bachelorette parties, gender reveals, brisses, Pride parties, birthdays, and phallic celebrations of all varieties, Cockuterie Boards are sure to capture the hearts of cock lovers everywhere!
Let's face it.
Regular charcuterie boards just won't cut it these days. Because when it comes to playing host, you're going to need a board that impresses, delights, and ultimately, makes you the cock of the town!
Perfect for bachelor/ bachelorette parties, gender reveals, brisses, Pride parties, birthdays, and phallic celebrations of all varieties, Cockuterie Boards are sure to capture the hearts of cock lovers everywhere!
Our Cocks in Action!

About Us
Ever since I can remember, people would always refer to me as, "one huge dick." So I went out and made one.
Cockuterie Boards are not just your average cheese board. Oh no. They make a statement. They bring smiles to everyones face, and are a unique way to make any gathering just a little bit cockier. Charcuterie means food and food means sharing good times and fond memories with the people that matter the most. And what better way to show someone how you appreciate them than with a massive woody!
So what are you waiting for? It's time you grab charcuterie by the balls!
Bridal Showers and Bachelor/ettes are just the beginning
You really don't need an excuse to whip out your Cockuterie Board. Although, they are abundantly welcomed and even encouraged at weddings, bachelor/ette parties, housewarmings, retirements, brisses...really just anywhere you feel is the appropriate place to insert one!


Cocks are important, but don't forget about the balls!
Cockuterie Boards is proud to be an official partner of Testicular Cancer Canada and actively donates 5% of profits to help keep testes everywhere cancer-free!

Perfect Birthday Gift
This was the perfect gift for my best friend!!

A ******
Amazing customer service. Even sent the boards out to my daughter in BC for no extra shipping charge!!


The Gift That Makes Every Event More Fun
After giving away a few of these as presents and seeing their reception at a wide variety of events, I decided it was finally time to order one for myself. As beautifully crafted as it is creative, without serving your charcuterie assortment on one of these, you might as well just be putting out a tray of Lunchables.

one of the best ***** I’ve had
The lieutenant is strong, unique, and perfect for any occasion. Amazing product and the customization is next level!

Lord Jamie’s ****
My Daughter was dying with laughter when she opened her package and found her “ Lord Jamie’s **** “ cockuterie board . She took her **** board out to its first party and it was an instant hit !! People were asking when it would be “ ******* “ next **** . Thank you so much for this beautiful **** masterpiece!!