Elevate your gift giving game

Mmm Mmm Maple

$149.00
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Size: The Shower (24 Inches)

Let's face it. 

Regular old charcuterie boards just won't cut it these days. Because when it comes to playing host, you're going to need a board that impresses, delights, and ultimately, makes you the cock of the town!

Perfect for bachelor/ bachelorette parties, gender reveals, brisses, Pride parties, birthdays, and phallic celebrations of all varieties, Cockuterie Boards are sure to capture the hearts of cock lovers everywhere!

Does Size Matter?

We all know that size matters, especially when it comes to charcuterie.

15 inch: best for date night, or small groups of 4 people max.

24 inch: best for gatherings 5 people and up! Can easily accommodate up to 20 people
Dimensions

Small: 15 x 9 x 1 inch x 3/4 inch tall

Large: 24 x 14 x 1 inch x 3/4 inch tall
Size: The Shower (24 Inches)
Made from Rock Hard Canadian Wood
Risk Free 30-Day Moneyback Guarantee
Guaranteed to Last Extremely Long
Finished By Hand with 100% Food-Grade Oil

Throbbing reviews from real life cockstomers!

The Ultimate Crowd Pleaser!

This charcuterie board is the ultimate crowd pleaser!!! So perfect for bachelorette parties or just a girls night in. Quality is amazing and the custom engraving elevates this hard wooden cock to the next level for the world's most perfect gift. Definitely recommend!

Julia F.
Only the Breast

This board is a 10/10. Quality is off the charts, and it’s exactly as pictured. Whether in the privacy of my own home, or in the middle of a party— this is one REALLY nice rack.

Allison M.
AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING

My experience was stunning! I am so thankful! My cockuterie board looks amazing, and I can't wait to give it to my friend for a wedding gift! She is going to love it! Great experience! Only positive things to say! Thank you again!

Katerina R.
My cockuterie board

This is the biggest cock I've ever eaten off of. My guests got a good laugh. Can't wait till the next family gathering.

Sandy H.
LOVE IT!!

I had a great experience and I absolutely love it. It’s made from a gorgeous piece of wood. Had a bit of issues with Canada post but had nothing to do with the company. They went above and beyond to help! Thanks so much!!

Tasha H.
Such a great gift

Honestly, I bought this board as a complete joke for my sister's birthday...turns out her and her friends loved it so much that they all bought one LOL. Definitely would recommend. It's actually amazing quality surprisingly

Mitch
Hard to beat

Our Cockuterie board looks fantastic! We were contacted to ensure that the custom engraving looked how we wanted, and it turned out awesome. No dicking around, this is a great purchase.

Keirin K.
A solid piece!

All joking aside, this is really well made! Also quite the centrepiece! I think everyone should have one!

Richelle D.
Exactly what I expected but better

This was an awesome gift. My friends absolutely love it.

Jamie S.

@COCKUTERIEBOARDS

Over 5,000 Satisfied Cockstumers!

Over 5,000 Satisfied Cockstumers!

Make sure you also get some bachelorette essentials from @cockuterie_boards

@nikafarb

 Over 5,000 Satisfied Cockstumers!

A quick trip to canadas bridal show with my bff 👯‍♀️💍 #canadasbridalshow #engaged

@taylor.mageetaylor

 Over 5,000 Satisfied Cockstumers!

Charcuterie from @cockuterie_boards

@largebarstoollargebarstool

 Over 5,000 Satisfied Cockstumers!

is that a @Cockuterie_Boards or are you just happy to see me!!!

@kevincooneyy

 Over 5,000 Satisfied Cockstumers!

POV: you received the funniest gift ever #cockuterieboard #charcuterieboard #charcuterie #lunch #pov #wfh #fyp #fypシ

@eliiee8

When in doubt, whip it out

Handcrafted with love and designed to amuse, Cockuterie boards are perfect for bachelorette parties, girls' nights, or just a fun evening at home. A conversation starter, an amazing gift, or because... why not, we've got the right board for everyone.

Make sure the Bachelorette is FULLY equipped!

No bachelor/ bachelorette party is complete without super on-brand charcuterie board that closely resembles everyone's favourite piece of male anatomy! I mean those bagels are just BEGGING to be handled 🤤