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Charboobie Board

Charboobie Board

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(4)

"A proud return buyer of cockuterie. Just got the boobie board and 10/10 would definitely recommend. Amazing quality, and durable. Very friendly and fast service."

$115.00 USD
$115.00 USD
Sale Sold out

Have you ever been caught salivating over a perfect pair of scrumptious-looking knockers, only to be humiliated by your own shameful behaviour?!? No...? Just us then...? Well, in any case, Charboobie Boards are officially here and trust us, you're gonna wanna cop a feel. Made from supple Canadian Maple, these wooden warlocks will firmly support all the charcuterie you could ever dream of! 

Perfect for bachelor/ette parties, gender reveals, birthdays, or any old boobtastic celebration, Charboobie Boards are the breast way to elevate any partitty!

*Board only*

Dimensions

  • 20 Inches Long
  • 11 Inches Wide
  • 3/4 of an Inch Thick
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as seen on your fyp

Real Cockstomers. Real Reviews.

The Ultimate Crowd Pleaser!

This charcuterie board is the ultimate crowd pleaser!!! So perfect for bachelorette parties or just a girls night in. Quality is amazing and the custom engraving elevates this hard wooden cock to the next level for the world's most perfect gift. Definitely recommend!

Julia F.
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Only the Breast

This board is a 10/10. Quality is off the charts, and it’s exactly as pictured. Whether in the privacy of my own home, or in the middle of a party— this is one REALLY nice rack.

Allison M.
AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING

My experience was stunning! I am so thankful! My cockuterie board looks amazing, and I can't wait to give it to my friend for a wedding gift! She is going to love it! Great experience! Only positive things to say! Thank you again!

Katerina R.
My cockuterie board

This is the biggest cock I've ever eaten off of. My guests got a good laugh. Can't wait till the next family gathering.

Sandy H.
LOVE IT!!

I had a great experience and I absolutely love it. It’s made from a gorgeous piece of wood. Had a bit of issues with Canada post but had nothing to do with the company. They went above and beyond to help! Thanks so much!!

Tasha H.
Such a great gift

Honestly, I bought this board as a complete joke for my sister's birthday...turns out her and her friends loved it so much that they all bought one LOL. Definitely would recommend. It's actually amazing quality surprisingly

Mitch
Hard to beat

Our Cockuterie board looks fantastic! We were contacted to ensure that the custom engraving looked how we wanted, and it turned out awesome. No dicking around, this is a great purchase.

Keirin K.
A solid piece!

All joking aside, this is really well made! Also quite the centrepiece! I think everyone should have one!

Richelle D.
Exactly what I expected but better

This was an awesome gift. My friends absolutely love it.

Jamie S.

When in doubt, whip it out

Handcrafted with love and designed to amuse, Cockuterie boards are perfect for bachelorette parties, girls' nights, or just a fun evening at home. A conversation starter, an amazing gift, or because... why not, we've got the right board for everyone.

Make sure the Bachelorette is FULLY equipped!

No bachelor/ bachelorette party is complete without super on-brand charcuterie board that closely resembles everyone's favourite piece of male anatomy! I mean those bagels are just BEGGING to be handled 🤤

Although it's pretty explanatory...

Frequently Asked Questions

But why dick-shaped?

Get out...

Does Size Matter?

We all know that size matters, especially when it comes to charcuterie. Here is how you can think about it when determining what size you are looking for:

The Grower - 15 inches: Ideal for date night, or small groups of 3-4 people max.

The Shower - 24 inches: Best for hosting/ gatherings of 5 people and up! Can easily accommodate up to 20 people

I want to make sure my cock lasts a lifetime, are there certain care instructions?

There sure are!

• To clean, gently wipe board with damp cloth, do not put in dishwasher
• Apply cutting board wax every few uses to maintain its shine and luster
• Slicing directly on board may result in cut marks, be careful near the tip!
• Each board comes pre-treated with 100% food-grade oil, however , certain foods may stain surface (berries in particular).

What is your handle so I can tag you when I post on social?

PLEASE tag us in any videos or photos you take with the boards, unboxing videos are our favourite! @cockuterieboards

You're a genius! Is Cockuterie Trademarked?

We are in fact trademarked! So if you come across any knockoffs let us know and we'll bring the hammer down together (pun most certainly intended).

Does it make for a good gift?

You will instantly become everyone's favorite gift giver or your money back!