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We're Not The Only Ones Who Love Our Wood

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Shop Cyber Week Bundles!

Why You'll Love Our Wood

  • Made In Canada

    Arbored from the enchanting region of rural Quebec, our Maple, Cherry, and Walnut boards are all finished by hand in the Great White North.

  • Tree Replanting

    We replant a tree for each one that gets cut and fashioned into the beloved cocks we all know and love. No guilt here!

  • 100+ 5-Star Reviews

    Whether you are a show-er or a grow-er there's a cockuterie for everyone! Join over 5,000 cock flockers around the world who have all grabbed charcuterie by the balls!
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Although it's pretty explanatory..

Frequently Asked Questions

But why dick-shaped?

Get out...

Does Size Matter?

We all know that size matters, especially when it comes to charcuterie.

15 inch: Ideal for date night, or small groups of 4 people max.

24 inch: Ideal for gatherings 5 people and up! Can easily accommodate up to 20 people

I want to make sure my cock lasts a lifetime, what are the care instructions?

There sure are:

• To clean, gently wipe board with damp cloth, do not put in dishwasher
• Apply cutting board wax every few uses to maintain its shine and lustre
• Slicing directly on board may result in cut marks, be careful near the tip!
• Each board comes pre-treated with 100% food-grade oil, however , certain foods may stain surface (berries in particular).

What is your handle so I can tag you when I post on social?

PLEASE tag us in any videos or photos you take with the boards, unboxing videos are our favourite! @cockuterieboards

You're a genius! Is Cockuterie Trademarked?

We are in fact trademarked! So if you come across any knockoffs let us know and we'll bring the hammer down together (pun most certainly intended).

Does it make for a good gift?

You will instantly become everyone's favorite gift giver or your money back!