Best Sellers
With a well-endowed selection that comes in most shapes and sizes, we got you covered for all your charcuterie needs!
@COCKUTERIEBOARDS
Join over 5,000 cockstomers grabbing charcuterie by the balls!
Thank you @cockuterie_boards for gifting this customized board for my Mom!
@otakoyakisoba
Working glutes for charcuuts!!! Merch out now!! Good morning ☀️
@kevincooneyy
Reply to @isaiahpickard55 these sandwiches are dangerous 🤤
@susi.vidal
Fancy platter #salamirose #cheeseplatter #meatplatter @cockuterie_boards
@melissadilkespateras
Thank you for the charcuterie board! #maleenhancement
@dickdocontiktok
Girls night a la cock, ft @cockuterieboards
@melissa_gagn0n
The only thing that goes harder than my cocks is @lawrencetheband. And that, I can live with
@theslamdunkelman
Meet Alyssa. She’s looking for a guy with 0 platonic girl friends and no less than 3 stuffed animals. #hotandsingle #overheard @stefdag
@ohhotandsingle
Best Selling
Shop Cocks
Accessories
Don't Forget
The Lube
Why You'll Love Our Wood
Made In Canada
Arbored from the enchanting region of rural Quebec, our Maple, Cherry, and Walnut boards are all finished by hand in the Great White North.
Tree Replanting
We replant a tree for each one that gets cut and fashioned into the beloved cocks we all know and love. No guilt here!
100+ 5-Star Reviews
Whether you are a show-er or a grow-er there's a cockuterie for everyone! Join over 5,000 cock flockers around the world who have all grabbed charcuterie by the balls!
Frequently Asked Questions
Although it's pretty self explanatory...
But why dick-shaped?
Get out
Does Size Matter?
We all know that size matters, especially when it comes to charcuterie.
15 inch: best for date night, or small groups of 4 people max.
24 inch: best for gatherings 5 people and up! Can easily accommodate up to 20 people
I want to make sure my cock lasts a lifetime, are there certain care instructions?
There sure are!
• To clean, gently wipe board with damp cloth, do not put in dishwasher
• Apply cutting board wax every few uses to maintain its shine and luster
• Slicing directly on board may result in cut marks, be careful near the tip!
• Each board comes pre-treated with 100% food-grade oil, however , certain foods may stain surface (berries in particular).
What is your handle so I can tag you when I post on social?
PLEASE tag us in any videos or photos you take with the boards, unboxing videos are our favourite! @cockuterieboards
You're a genius, is Cockuterie Trademarked?
We are in fact trademarked! So if you come across any knockoffs let us know and we'll bring the hammer down together (pun most certainly intended).
Does it make for a good gift?
You will instantly become everyone's favorite gift giver or your money back!
